La humillante historia del pequeño cabrón en DC

Washington, DC


Hace un frío de cojones en Washington, DC. Pero de cojones. He saltado del autobús, me he abrochado el macuto y he atravesado Union Station, conteniéndome para no comprar una porción de pizza a precio de titanio. Me rugía el estómago y no me importaba comer fuera, algo barato pero ya cocinado. Me di prisa por llegar al metro (un metro limpio y espacioso, el mejor que he visto hasta ahora aunque igual de caro) y en media hora salía de la parada de Columbia Heights.


Según caminaba hacia la casa, oí un ruido detrás de mí. Me giré y vi una piedrecita rodando a pocos metros de mis pies. Seguí mi marcha y a los pocos segundos otra vez, el ruido de una piedra rebotando contra el suelo, girarme y verla ahí, terminando su trayecto. Me empecé a mosquear. Miré a mi alrededor. Nadie. Miré arriba, a las ventanas. Igual el gracioso las tiraba desde ahí - que, ahora que lo pienso, no tiene ningún sentido esa hipótesis. ¿Qué tienen, una cesta de piedras para tirármelas a mí a la cabeza? (...) El caso es que ocurrió un par de veces más y yo ya estaba de muy mala hostia y muy intrigada a partes iguales. Y veo delante de mí a una mujercita rechoncha sudamericana que me dice en español: "¡Es el niño ése tirando piedrecitas!", señalando a la acera opuesta. Y entre los coches distingo a un chavalín de no más de 10 años, negro y de ojos inocentes, subido a un patinente.


"¡Deja ya de tirar piedras, hombre!", le grita la mujer en español. El niño pone cara rara. "I don't understand you!", le responde. Tampoco hay que ser un genio. "Don't throw stones at me!", le grito yo. Él se pone a gesticular como diciendo que él no ha sido, yo le doy las gracias a la señora y sigo. Pero vuelve a ocurrir, y ya lo que hago es cambiarme de acera, a ver si se atreve a tirármelas a la cara. Cruzo y le miro unos segundos a los ojos, pero él se gira y da unos golpecitos a una ventana, dirigiéndose después a la puerta contigua. Yo inmediatamente huyo, no sea que salga su primo de Zumosol y me parta la cara.


Ha sido una bonita bienvenida a la ciudad. 


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